Watch where you sit!

Place: On the bus
Time: 7:45 PM
Who: Me and a large woman wearing a yellow sari
Why: I was on my way to the bus station

"27 B, 27 B, where is the damn 27 B!"
Every time a bus would stop a cloud of exhaust would fill the dark air. Bus after bus ploughed through the streets.
"Excuse me sir," I yelled while backpack bumping a man. "Do you know where bus 27 B is?"
He wobbled his head left to right three times.
"Yes?"
He wobbled again.
"No?"
One more wobble.
I imitated his wobble with arched eye-brows. He also arched his eye-brows and did a quick wobble.
"27B"
He wobbled again, but this time with emphasis towards the right.
I wobbled a thank you and started walking towards where he directed his wobble.
"Why don't they light these streets!" I said to myself after stepping in something squishy. Before I had time to investigate fully what I had just stepped in 27B pulled up beside me.
I jumped on, fell back, and jumped on again. I felt unbalanced with all the weight on me. I had a bulging blue backpack hanging off my back, a black smaller backpack strapped to my front, and a red bag with books in my right hand.
The bus was packed with people, but just my luck, a man jumped up just as I got on. I threw the heavy backpack of my back into the aisle and managed to squeeze in tightly beside a heavy woman with a yellow sari. The bus pulled off and we were on our way.
After getting my bag in place and taking off my other bags and arranging them properly I had time to see what was on my shoe.
"Ah F$^k, just as I expected, poo!"
I knew I said F$^k too loudly because the man in front of me looked back with a frown. I tried to scrape it off on the seat in front of me. It was minimal and mucky so I managed to get most of it off my smooth sandal in one swipe. Lucky enough it was also brownish black, the same color as the bus. Just then the chubby woman with the yellow sari beside me looked at me with a strange look. Its hard to describe. She sort of closed one eye slightly while making her lips paper thin. Then all at once she let her shoulders drop, let her mouth fall open, and did a face like she just ate something sour. I looked down at the poo.
"Sorry," I wobbled, " I just wanted to.."
Before I could finish my sentence she got up and rushed off the bus.
The bus was off again and since the poo had a slight stench to it I took the chance to sit in her chair.
The chairs in some Indian buses are real nice and comfortable. They are made from velvet and and have a nice cushion on the back and bottom.
I plumped down in her seat and took a breath. The bus was now on the main highway towards the bus station and the air was crisp and clean.
I sat daydreaming for a few minutes before I noticed anything.
Then hit me all at once.
"What is that?" I touched my bottom without looking.
"What the!"
I looked down and my ass was stained dark blue. My right leg had a wet stain that went all the way down to my knee. I instinctively smelled my hand.
"That is not..." I smelled it again. "It is!"
It was pee.
The seat was soaked and so were my pants.
The fat woman with the yellow sari had peed the seat - and I had sat in it in my only pair of jeans.